The Mystery Barrier
by madwriter223
Summary: [Spoilers for Weirdmageddon 2] Bill wants to know everything about the barrier. Unfortunately, Ford isn't exactly cooperating. What is a being with infinite power to do? Perhaps hunting down his family should do the trick. Featuring Smart!Grunkle Stan


AN: My take on what exactly the anti-evil barrier is. ^_^

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 **The Mystery Barrier**

"AH, THE PINES FAMILY, THERE YOU ARE!"

"Everyone scatter!" Stan yelled and their ragtag group dispersed, running towards the trees and back to the Shack. But not fast enough.

They'd left the Shack for their daily search for food and more survivors. The search party usually consisted of three volunteers and Stan. As Chief, he went on every one of those; he figured it was only proper (plus he could ask around about his missing family). Now that he had Dipper and Mabel back, he still thought it was only right for him to still go on each little 'trip'. On hindsight, letting his kids tag along might've been a mistake. They were barely a hundred yards from the Shack when Bill popped out, looking as smug as a one-eyed no-face triangle could look.

Bill snapped his fingers, and Stan was suddenly airborne. To his horror, so were Mabel and Dipper.

"Kids!" Stan yelped and tried to get towards them, swinging his arms around as if he was swimming.

It did not help at all.

Bill leaned back and crossed his legs. "ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT I HAVE YOU ALL TOGETHER, LETS MAKE THIS REUNION COMPLETE." He reached behind his back and brought Ford forward, as if he'd been strapped there the whole time. Ford was still encased in gold, but he was no longer frozen in the back-scratcher position. Instead, his fists were raised and his teeth were bared in a snarl. Bill must've unfrozen him at some point. It figured the freak wouldn't leave him alone.

Bill snapped his fingers again and the gold leached off of Stanford, as is someone had poured a bucked of gold-solvent over his head. He jerked into movement with a gasp, kicking and waving his arms around. He was still suspended in the air, though, so it didn't do him much good.

"Great Uncle Ford!" the kids yelled, and Ford paled when he turned towards him. Stanley didn't like the fear in his eyes. Ford knew what Bill was capable of much better than anyone.

"OKAY, SIXER, LAST CHANCE!" Bill gestured towards them, one hand glowing blue. "TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, AND I WON'T PLAY WITH YOUR FAMILY." The kids screamed and grabbed onto each other, holding on tightly. Stan started kicking with his legs in another attempt to get closer to the kids. Fruitless, he knew, but better than floating uselessly in the air.

"I told you!" Stanford snarled, glaring at Bill with all the hate he could muster. "I don't know anything about that barrier! And even if I did, I would _never tell you_!"

Stan froze. "Barrier?" He blinked in surprise and looked up. As he watched, a ripple seemed to travel across the sky, accompanied by a hollow sound. He grinned in relief. "The barrier."

Bill hadn't heard him, his attention still on Ford. "THEN YOU GIVE ME NO CHOICE. " He spread his hands with a shrug. "I'LL JUST HAVE TO FEED YOUR FAMILY _THEIR OWN SKINS_ UNTIL YOU TALK." Ford flinched at the threat, and glared harder. Bill crooked one finger towards the kids. "I THINK I'LL START WITH PINE TREE."

Both kids screamed when Dipped was yanked forward towards Bill, reaching desperately towards each other.

"WAIT!" Stan tried to throw himself after Dipper, hands grasping at air when the kid flew past. "Stanford doesn't know anything about the barrier!"

Dipper jerked to a stop, and Bill's eye jumped to Stan. "OH?" He drew the sound out as he floated closer. "AND WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT _THAT_?"

Stan clenched his jaw. "Because I'm the one who put it up."

"YOU?!" Bill screeched, incredulous. A second passed, and he started laughing. Howls of mocking laughter so loud Stan's teeth rattled from the echo. Bill turned onto his back, kicking his legs for added effect, Stan was sure of it. "THE LESSER TWIN, THE STUPID SPARE, THE WORTHLESS BROTHER?" Each insult made Stan's teeth clench tighter, but he tried not to let it show.

Finally done with the jeering laughter, Bill let out a long amused sigh and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. "AH THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, I NEEDED THE LOLS." He snorted, and Stan's eyes narrowed at the mockery. Bill stayed on his back and folded his arms behind his head. "STILL, IF YOU WERE INDEED THE MORON WHO PUT UP THE BARRIER, RIPPING IT APART WILL BE A PIECE OF CAKE. I CAN RIP YOU APART TOO, TO CELEBRATE." He made it sound as if it was as exciting as blowing out birthday candles.

Stan ignored the threat. "Good luck, you snide asswipe!" He yelled, arms crossed over his chest. "That barrier repels and traps everything with ill intent! And you're nothing _but_ ill intent!"

Bill froze, so abruptly they were all jerked to the side. He was unmoving for several seconds, then slowly floated himself upright. His eye was wide open, the pupil shrunk down as he stared at Stan. "WHAT DID YOU MOUNT IT ON?" he asked, and his voice was flat like a cliff-side. Devoid of any inflection whatsoever, but hearing it still brought death to mind. It caused an icy chill to travel down all their spines.

Stan ignored the sensation and answered with a nasty grin. "Enchanted obsidian crystals." He snickered when Bill's eye widened further. "Six of them!"

Bill stared at him, once again frozen in place. A tense moment passed, then Bill's form turned red as fresh blood. "TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE **NOW**." He roared, eyes as black as the void.

Stan spit in his direction. "I erased that knowledge." He stated smugly.

" _ **WHAT!**_ " Several trees uprooted themselves and rocketed up into the sky. They passed through the barrier with ease, and Stan laughed.

"I took McGucket's memory gun and I put it to my head! Gone! And do you know what I did with the memories tube? I smashed that with a sledgehammer and burned the pieces!" This time, it was Stanley who did the mocking laughing. "The locations of the crystals are completely and permanently gone! And you will _never_ find them!" He laughed louder, as derisive as he knew how to.

Bill blinked at him, looked back to the sky, then back to Stan again.

The bone-rattling shriek he made then caused the world to ripple around them. Whatever was holding them all aloft disappeared as soon as the shriek-ripple passed through them. They dropped to the ground, landing roughly, but in more or less one piece.

Ford tucked himself into a ball before he landed and rolled back onto his feet within a second. "Run, everybody!" He called, rushing towards his brother. He grabbed Stanley's arm and hauled him upright.

"To the Shack, it's still unicorn hair protected!" Dipper yelled back. He jumped to his feet and grabbed Mabel's hand, dragging her in his rush to get there. Ford did the same, towing Stanley along with a firm hold on his arm. Same age or not, Ford had always been the faster one.

Behind them, Bill let out another shriek and aimed a powerful blast straight at the sky. The barrier absorbed it like a sponge, and the energy dispersed along the dome like a spider web. It dissipated seconds later, which only enraged Bill further. He spread himself to the sides, growing and swelling as if he was a tumour against the sky.

Stanford lacked the words to describe just how much of a relief it was to get into the Shack and slam the door behind them. He leaned against the old wood, shivering at Bill's continued bellows. The door shuddered as Bill let out another blast of energy. The high-pitched shriek that followed meant the barrier still held. It was a small mercy, but at least the rest of this dimension would be safe for another day.

Ford took a deep steadying breath and looked over to his family. Stanley had his arms wrapped around both their kids, pressing them close to his chest. They were clutching at him with white knuckled hands, faces pressed against his shoulders.

Ford took another deep breath and stepped closer to them. "Is everyone all right?" He asked, looking them over for any visible injuries. "Dipper, he didn't do anything, right?"

The kids sat up from Stan's embrace, but stayed close enough so that their Grunkle could still keep a hand on each of their shoulders.

"No, it just..." Dipper patted his chest. "Pinched a bit. But Grunkle Stan, were you telling the truth? Were you really the one to put up this barrier?"

"Yup." Stan grinned and patted the kid's shoulder. "'Bout twenty five years ago, more or less."

Dipper jumped to his feet. "How? Where did you come up with a spell like that? How does it work? What are those crystals you mentioned? How'd you find out what to do?" He started pacing, hands gesticulating madly. "This is huge, this raises more questions than it answers! What about -" 

Stan put his hand back on Dipper's shoulder, stopping him in place. "Dipper, calm down." Dipper took a deep breath and held it, staring at Stan with unblinking eyes. He was nearly vibrating with questions, so Stan sighed and put a hand on the kid's head. "Look, I don't know all the specifics. And what I did know I erased. What it comes down to is what I told Bill. The barrier repels and traps everything with ill intentions. What's outside can't get in, what's inside can't get out. Not if they mean any harm to anyone. It works both on creatures and humans. Heh, it sure helped the crime rate go down. All the violent grifters and serial killers can't get in." He gave a crooked grin, but his nephew didn't return it.

"How did you know about the spell?" He demanded, tugging on Stan' tattered jacket. "There was nothing in Great Uncle Ford's journals about a spell this powerful!"

"Are you a wizard?" Mabel asked, hands clasped on Stan's sleeve.

"Nah, kids, nothing like that." Stan smiled at them. "I met a know-it-all hag one day, she told me everything I needed to do."

"A know-it-all..." Ford boggled at his brother. "You mean the Wise Witch of the Mountains, living in a cave hidden behind the waterfall?"

"Chill, Sixer. But yeah, I found her in the mountains somewhere. I asked her for help, she gave it and that's it." Stan shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal at all.

Ford knew better. "That's it? Stanley, the Wise Witch only talks to those she deems are worthy of her wisdom!"

Stan gave him a dry look. "That's some alliteration there, Pointdexter."

"Be serious, Stanley!"

Stan threw up his arms. "What do you want me to say? It was over twenty five years ago! I don't remember what was said!"

"What about the crystals, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked. "Bill went nuts when you mentioned them."

Stan scratched at his stubbled cheek. "The crystals power the barrier. If I remember correctly, the better the crystals and the more of them there is, then the stronger the spell."

"That's it?" Dipper crossed his arms over his chest, looking sceptical. "That's what's keeping Bill trapped, those crystals?"

"Weeeeell..." Stan rocked back slightly. "There's also the unicorn hair."

"The what now?" Ford lifted a startled eyebrow. His brother was full of surprises today.

"Unicorn hair." Stan repeated. "I read about those in Ford's journal. Unicorn hair to make a barrier. Unless I misunderstood that part."

"No, you..." Ford cut himself off. "The unicorns gave you their hair?"

Stan shrugged with one shoulder. "Well, I wouldn't say 'gave'" He made quotation marks with his fingers, "It was more like I shaved them against their will." He grinned, unrepentant. "Yeah, that's a more apt description."

"You... shaved them... against their will?" Ford had a problem wrapping his mind around that. He hadn't thought that was a possibility.

"Yup. Caught them in a net and sheered them like sheep."

"Wow." Mabel stared at Stan with stars in her eyes and smushed her fists against her cheeks. "You're a hero."

"Nah, sweetie." Stan patted her head. "I was sleep deprived and they were being uppity. I'm no hero."

"Getting the hair is indeed impressive, but you did more harm than good." Ford pursed his lips into a tight line. "You destabilized the barrier."

"What do you mean?" Stan asked with a confused frown.

"The barrier from my journal is incompatible with obsidian crystals! That's why I had to use moonstones! Unicorn hair is incredibly difficult to handle, its frequency clashes with most powering rocks."

"Oh, that. Heh, I know what you mean." Stan chuckled. "Took me a while to figure the trick out, the hair kept getting blown away."

"...what do you mean, figure it out?" Ford demanded, hands on his hips. "It's not possible to figure it out, that's just laws of nature."

"There's nothing natural about the crap that goes down in this town." Stan grumbled and stood up. "And I did figure it out. Turns out if use a mix of hair from several different hornhorses, the frequency or whatever changes." He stretched, grunting when his back popped.

"It does?" Dipper and Mabel both tilted their heads to the side.

"How would you know?" She asked.

"The colours changed." Stan gestured towards the window and the orange sky. "It was purple at first, but that was crap with the obsidian crystals. When I added hairs from a different hornhorse it changed to blue, then to green and so on. I figured I got the right one when the barrier walls stopped breaking and cracking. And hey." He grinned at them all. "Twenty five years and it's still standing. That's gotta mean something, right?"

Ford stared at him, his glasses slipping down his nose. "...how many unicorns did you shave?"

"About five of them. Maybe six." There was a bellow from outside. "Must've done something right, at least. First worthwhile thing I accomplished here."

Ford didn't know what to say to that.

Stan cleared his throat. "Are we done? I need to check whether everyone came back okay." He looked around the empty Shack. "Hopefully, they're all downstairs in the lab. Best spot to hide in this whole place."

Dipper didn't allow the thought of checking on Wendy distract him. "One more question, Grunkle Stan." He needled, bouncing slightly on his toes.

Stan sighed, and rolled his eyes. "Fine, kid, one more."

Dipper opened his mouth, but it was Mabel who asked the last question. "Why did you put it up? Where you worried about Bill, even all those years ago?"

"Heck, kid, there's not just Bill that's dangerous in Gravity Falls." Stan pointed out, hands on his hips. "I figured that if any of the weirdness ever got discovered, by scientists with actual physical proof, they'd evacuate the town and nuke the whole sorry lot. I couldn't risk the government making me move, I had to fix the portal." He looked out the window again. "Heck, if any of the Gravity Falls nasties actually _left_ Gravity Falls, the world would be doomed. Or flattened like pancake batter." Stan waved a dismissive. "I did what I thought wouldn't blow up in our faces."

Suddenly, Ford stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his brother. He plastered himself to Stan's chest and tucked his face against his neck.

"Sixer?"

Ford didn't answer. He just tightened his arms around Stan's shoulders and held on. After a moment of hesitation, Stan returned the hug. He nuzzled Ford's cheek and patted his back. "I've got you, Stanford." He crooned in a soft tone. "You're okay, we're all okay."

Ford shivered and pressed closer, squeezing his eyes tight. He felt Mabel press close to his side, one arm around his waist and the other around Stan's. Dipper wasn't far behind, and he pressed close to Ford's other side.

Outside, Bill was still raging. His endless shrieks were so loud the door kept rattling over and over.

End


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